Fakey Loves Aldi

‘Recession’.

Ugly word. Especially if you’re a cub of the tiger, a credit card powered consumer-junkie facing into what can only be described as ‘choppy’ waters ahead.

Yes, even Fakey, a man of consummate taste and discernment (and no short measure of modesty), is getting a little jittery. I’m contemplating getting a smaller wine rack for fucks sake, that’s how serious things have got. Chuck a wedding into the financial planning mix and I should be out of debt by the age of 40. Seriously, though if you’re a ‘lifestyle’ consumer-junkie like me and missus to be then sacrifices need to be made mainly because if the good folks in MBNA are reading this blog they’ll take the slave rights to my first born child.

As CJH (god rest his soul) would say, We (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘me’) are living beyond our means. Belt tightening is required and with this comes some self-analysis.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an idiot: there are simians with better self-restraint than me.

Yesterday, for example, I bought and un-necessary pair of sunglasses for our up-coming Wedding/Honeymoon. Seriously expensive but completely cool.

Told you: idiot!

So since last paycheck I’ve decided to go All-Aldi – and believe it or not it’s not bad, In fact, whisper it, I’m loving it. Seriously great grub and some little gems in the wine aisle… I kid you not.

Favourites are Aldi’s selection of anti-pasti’s: particularly their grilled mixed peppers and mushroom selection. Swedish meatballs that wouldn’t be out of place in Galma Stan, good selection (if not a tad ordinary) of cheeses, deadly pesto’s and some cold meats worth considering (Chorizo isn’t bad) ice-cream (although I am still resisting) that’s seriously good.

It’s in the wine aisle that gets all a bit awful red wise. Their top selling Aussie Shiraz (Bushlands) is pathetically toxic, avoid at all costs, and at the other end of the selection their Temperillo – 5.99 – is lacklustre and devoid of any ripe Iberian fruit: bland, tastes of Charcoal. It’s in the whites (a good Sancerre for 6 quid!!!) that Aldi have some game; particularly their sparklingly Chardonnay Cremant de Jura (8.99) that is really outstanding, on a par with my other favourite Cremant, Cremant de Limoux from Berry Bros. & Rudd (17.95!!!!).

Honestly, this Cremant de Jura stuff is just a fantastic drop. Like a semi-naked Audrey Tatou singing ‘Marriage Made in Heaven’ by Tindersticks while preparing me a Mojito before Penelope Cruz gives me a sponge bath.

It’s not vintage Bolly by any lenght, but it’s a damn sight finer than most mid-range Champagnes (Mumm for example is massively overrated compared to this cheapo bottle). So Buy it. Buy loads of it.

Aldi isn’t fun like Fallon and Byrne, it’s light-years away from Donnybrook Fair or even the shite hole that is Tesco, Rathmines: but I’ve just prepared a pretty decent Italian dinner on a Monday night for less than a tenner and there’s a bit left for lunch manjana.

Yes, I’m brown bagging it. Oh-how the mighty have fallen.